Bangs bangs: sounds like a fringe issue

Low Bun with Bangs

The earrings? Maybe not. But J-Garner nearly has the hair I'm going for. Not really. But kind of.

Today I bring to you a dramatic reading from Army Regulation 670 – 1, The Wear and Appearance of Army Uniforms and Insignia.


  1. Females will ensure their hair is neatly groomed, that the length and bulk of the hair are not excessive, and that the hair does not present a ragged, unkempt, or extreme appearance.
  2. Hair will not fall over the eyebrows or extend below the bottom edge of the collar at any time during normal activity or when standing in formation.
  3. When headgear is worn, the hair will not extend below the bottom edge of the front of the headgear, nor will it extend below the bottom edge of the collar.

Once upon a time, I came to Princeton with Bangs. I loved Bangs but Bangs didn’t seem to get along well with my necessary friend, Bobby the Pin. Bobby could be a bit weak at times–a bit of a flake if you know what I mean. Sometimes he would just leave Bangs hanging. At that point Bangs was tired of the hassle and uncertainty and decided to grow out of that relationship, rejoining the rest of my hair.

Bobby Pin

Bobby, you're annoying.

But I missed my Bangs, and I think my Bangs missed me. A few weeks ago I took a leap (well, the hair stylist did) and I welcomed Bangs back into my life.

This time around, things will be different. I’ve done my reading and realized I don’t have to have Bobby on speed dial anymore. As long as I keep Bangs lookin’ clean and above my eyebrows, there is no reason why Bangs can’t chill naturally without fearing ol’ Bobby coming around. I just have to sweep Bangs away up under my headgear when headgear is necessary. A little under-cover excitement, if you will.